I've worked for the same Company for 14 years. It was only ever intended as a stepping stone, something to get me earning, until I found my "DREAM JOB" except I never actually took that step and the longer I'm there, the harder it is to even consider leaving.
I'm sure plenty of you have told yourselves similar things to this at some point: The people are great, the benefits package is good, it's secure and even though I don't particularly like it, I am good at what I do. Logic says it makes sense to stay there. Emotionally, it's just another thing that makes me feel as though I'm losing myself.
With that in mind, I'm finding it hard to understand why I feel so frustrated that I'm being sidelined at work. It's not like it hasn't been obvious for more than a few years now that because I've worked in the same department for so long and because I'm trusted and reliable, I'm seen as a part of the furniture. I've seen the people I've trained move on to more responsibility and promotion while I'm constantly overlooked. For a while that didn't bother me because work wasn't a priority, starting a family was.
But since returning from maternity leave, I think it annoys me so much more because it's now blatantly down to the fact that I don't work 5 days a week. All my good work and best efforts basically count for nothing because my line managers are stuck in a mind warp which says you are only a valid employee if you are a visible presence in the office every day.
Before you say it, it's not paranoia. I've been told to my face that I'll never be considered for promotion because I'm not full-time. And considering I'm doing something that is nothing at all like my teenage self imagined I'd be doing, I just don't understand why I care.
Funnily enough, my job is all about putting things right for people and making sure they get the right outcome and because I have quite a strong sense of justice, I do believe in what I'm doing. So that makes me think the reason I'm so frustrated is not necessarily because I'm desperate for promotion but because I feel I'm being treated unfairly. That certainly sounds more likely.
So what am I going to do about it? You know, I don't know and I think this is why work takes up so much of my head space. I don't want to care about it because I still want to believe that my perfect job is out there somewhere and if I care about it, I'm worried that's another step towards NEVER LEAVING. But who wants to work somewhere where their contribution is undervalued? How soul destroying is that?
Tell me Readers, how would you deal with a situation like this?